Phew, the sound of relief.

So thank you to some finally proper help and advice on the proper midi program to use I got the recording done and sent to my loved ones for Christmas. I'm happy, they are happy and I finally have a new studio resource to create accompaniment tracks for myself and students. The keyboard I have is cheap and frankly crap to play but this new-to-me method of recording is exciting and I hope it helps to bring about some new opportunities. Practising without a pianist is sad. Practising with someone else to point out stuff you're doing wrong rhythmically is better, but since that resource is in short supply to me right now, I am very excited to have the keyboard to computer opportunity now. I suppose all I have to do is brush up on my keyboard skills and turn on that metronome.

Christmas present

I am trying to record myself playing the piano and I want to give it to my family as a Christmas present. I've found and practices a couple songs that my mother used to sing to us when we were children, or to put us to sleep. One is Dvorak's Humoreske. I really love this song. I hate technology. I am trying to record from my MIDI keyboard to my computer. I can't get the computer to recognize the keyboard, I am assuming, because I can't get the program (audacity) to record from anything but the computer microphone. Oh woe is me. I've been practicing the songs for a while and believe they are in a recordable state now. I've been working on trying to get the recording made for a whole week. Teaching day starts in 15 minutes. Oh well, I guess I'm done trying for the day.
Better luck tomorrow.

Post Show Blues

Is there ever a perfect length or run of a production? They always seem either too short or too long. Energy either wains by the end, or you're left feeling like you never fully realized the potential of your character.
I just finished a theatre production, acting not opera, and I think I stand on the latter of the two this time. Through the run of the show I received much positive feedback on my characters, and the director was happy with me. Yet on a personal challenge level, I don't know if I did enough. I explored character nuances, played with line delivery, word emphases and intentions, presence and postural considerations, facial and body language, yet there is this nagging unfulfilled feeling that I missed something. I know I miss the fact that this was spoken and not a sung production, and since this was my first play, maybe that energy of singing element IS what I miss. Something nagging. Something indeed. It will not stop me from exploring the acting stage again, I am just left wondering. Is that it, this time?

Quest for ratio

I have no delusions about my voice. I have been told time and time again by many respected professionals and mentors that I have great stage presence, and artistic credibility. My one glaring flaw is that my vibrato rate is aesthetically too fast for today's serious classical music market. If I was born in 1910, PERFECT. So with great humility, it has been consistently the one thing that I have gone to teachers to get help with. My Achilles’ heel if you will.

This morning I was reflecting on some advice that one of my wonderful teachers gave me a little while ago. After telling her some of my singing hurdles she genteelly reminded me to go back to the basics. So this mornings practice involved basics. Simple vowels, simple onsets. This time focusing on not just the tone and breathing apparatus, but the mechanism of the initial engagement itself in my throat. What I was glaringly apparent was; what the hell is my larynx doing so high up there anyways? So, I exploring the making of sound; simply engaging tone with airflow. (I don't think the results could all be called singing.) In short order I was delighted with a surprise.

I have heard about the 'tilt of the larynx' when engaging the cricothyroid muscles before, but today was the first time I felt it happen. I liked it and the resulting tone too. So, this afternoon's practice will involve exploring this energy and the rest of the 'what the hell is my larynx doing up there' in my speaking voice. Maybe I'll develop those weak muscles and reduce my flutter finally.

I was already aware that my larynx bobs like a buoy in rough waters in my speaking voice and had been working on that. Since singing is an exercised extension, heightened function, or Olympic version of speach, of course it was happening in my singing voice too. Now more exploration, more, more, more, more.

Maybe I'll be happy with my own voice yet. Who knows? Does anyone know if it is even possible to be happy with one's own voice?

Afirmations

It's one of those blah days, with no particular reason for it. The sun is shining, there is a crisp clean feeling to the air and the fall colours are still vibrant.
So to break the Tuesday the 22nd doldrums I figured I'd remind myself of 22 little things that make me happy.
1. those little floating dish soap bubbles, when you squeeze out the dish soap
2. clean dishes (I hate doing dishes, but I hate a cluttered dirty counter more)
3. a good tune stuck in your head
4. hope
5. a clean floor
6. a day of music practice
7. the tiredness after a workout that tells you you did something good for yourself
8. post card in the mail from a far of friend
9. that moment right before supper where you sit down, fork in hand, and take a deep breath before the first bite
10. a drive in the countryside
11. the smell of fresh laundry
12. an unexpected phone call from your family for no particular reason but to say hi
13. the anticipation during the wrapping of a present
14. checking a task off my list of things to do
15. star gazing on a warm summer night
16. soft fresh power to ski/snowboard in
17. Finishing reading a novel
18. warm baking, from the mixing of ingredients to that moment where you take cupcakes out of the oven and they're still steaming warm
19. a warm blanket
20. petting a cat/dog, happily curled up on your lap
21. hugs
22. a full tank of gas

Ahhhhhh. Happy Tuesday!

NINJA!

So I know today will be a great day. This is how I know.
*In the shower the soap tried to leap frog away and I totally ninja grabbed it before it fell. I was smooth and cat like. Oh yeah!
*I also did laundry yesterday, so I get to wear my favourite undies today. As we are all very aware, nothing bad ever happens when you're wearing your favourite underwear. I mean, it's probably a law of nature, or karma, or something. Putting out those good vibes, in consideration of nature's equal and opposite reaction laws, means good vibes are bouncing back. Right?
*First thing this morning I got a very positive email response back to a resume I sent out yesterday. That IS a good thing.
*I have a clear picture of what I need to sing today. I get to decide between a couple new Rossini pieces I just discovered. I'm also cracking at the new piano piece I'm learning too. Woot!

So I'm off to go get groceries now. I'm bound to find some great in-store deal on quality meat at a fraction of the price with this positive energy.

Fingers and toes are crossed, here I go.

(Post script thought. When today's blog starts with NINJA, how could it possibly be a bad day?)

Coffee?

Coffee pro / Coffee Con
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*I get to consume cream and sugar, yay :) / I am consuming cream and sugar

*I like the taste of coffee / I have coffee breath for hours that I can't get rid of with mints or brushing.

*I like the smell of coffee / I can't sing for hours cause my throat feels dried out

*A coffee between breakfast and lunch keeps me from stupidly snacking / I am consuming cream and sugar (repeat is not an error)

*Wakes me up so I don't feel like I'm in slow motion or not motivated / Heart feels like it's going to explode

*Motivated to get stuff done after about a half an hour / Coffee is a diuretic, so I need to go to the bathroom NOW! (aka 1/2 hour)

*Wakes me up faster than tea / During coffee I am often still tired and then after wards I STILL crash

*I don't drink coffee regularly enough that I crave it or have any withdrawal when I don't have it / I don't drink coffee regularly enough that it works VERY WELL WHEN I DO DRINK IT!

*I get to use my favourite mug / I have to wash the stains out of my favourite mug

*Cheaper than beer and more accepted as a breakfast beverage than beer / Heard reports of coffee pulling nutrients out of the body to help digest... that can't be good

Men's pants

I watched a guy in the mall struggle between his ice cream and his jeans. Both were trying to fall to the floor.
Not that I'm up for bucking all fashion trends, but I can' wait till men's 'pants around your knees' fashion is over. Personally, and I'm not speaking for other ladies out there, but I like men's butts. With this current fashion trend, I can't see your butt. In my humble opinion men have nicer butts then women, for a woman to have a nice butt she has to be so thin or anorexic sized. Barf. Please men do yourselves and us admirers, a favour, adopt a different style.
K thanks.