Phew, the sound of relief.

So thank you to some finally proper help and advice on the proper midi program to use I got the recording done and sent to my loved ones for Christmas. I'm happy, they are happy and I finally have a new studio resource to create accompaniment tracks for myself and students. The keyboard I have is cheap and frankly crap to play but this new-to-me method of recording is exciting and I hope it helps to bring about some new opportunities. Practising without a pianist is sad. Practising with someone else to point out stuff you're doing wrong rhythmically is better, but since that resource is in short supply to me right now, I am very excited to have the keyboard to computer opportunity now. I suppose all I have to do is brush up on my keyboard skills and turn on that metronome.

Christmas present

I am trying to record myself playing the piano and I want to give it to my family as a Christmas present. I've found and practices a couple songs that my mother used to sing to us when we were children, or to put us to sleep. One is Dvorak's Humoreske. I really love this song. I hate technology. I am trying to record from my MIDI keyboard to my computer. I can't get the computer to recognize the keyboard, I am assuming, because I can't get the program (audacity) to record from anything but the computer microphone. Oh woe is me. I've been practicing the songs for a while and believe they are in a recordable state now. I've been working on trying to get the recording made for a whole week. Teaching day starts in 15 minutes. Oh well, I guess I'm done trying for the day.
Better luck tomorrow.

Post Show Blues

Is there ever a perfect length or run of a production? They always seem either too short or too long. Energy either wains by the end, or you're left feeling like you never fully realized the potential of your character.
I just finished a theatre production, acting not opera, and I think I stand on the latter of the two this time. Through the run of the show I received much positive feedback on my characters, and the director was happy with me. Yet on a personal challenge level, I don't know if I did enough. I explored character nuances, played with line delivery, word emphases and intentions, presence and postural considerations, facial and body language, yet there is this nagging unfulfilled feeling that I missed something. I know I miss the fact that this was spoken and not a sung production, and since this was my first play, maybe that energy of singing element IS what I miss. Something nagging. Something indeed. It will not stop me from exploring the acting stage again, I am just left wondering. Is that it, this time?

Quest for ratio

I have no delusions about my voice. I have been told time and time again by many respected professionals and mentors that I have great stage presence, and artistic credibility. My one glaring flaw is that my vibrato rate is aesthetically too fast for today's serious classical music market. If I was born in 1910, PERFECT. So with great humility, it has been consistently the one thing that I have gone to teachers to get help with. My Achilles’ heel if you will.

This morning I was reflecting on some advice that one of my wonderful teachers gave me a little while ago. After telling her some of my singing hurdles she genteelly reminded me to go back to the basics. So this mornings practice involved basics. Simple vowels, simple onsets. This time focusing on not just the tone and breathing apparatus, but the mechanism of the initial engagement itself in my throat. What I was glaringly apparent was; what the hell is my larynx doing so high up there anyways? So, I exploring the making of sound; simply engaging tone with airflow. (I don't think the results could all be called singing.) In short order I was delighted with a surprise.

I have heard about the 'tilt of the larynx' when engaging the cricothyroid muscles before, but today was the first time I felt it happen. I liked it and the resulting tone too. So, this afternoon's practice will involve exploring this energy and the rest of the 'what the hell is my larynx doing up there' in my speaking voice. Maybe I'll develop those weak muscles and reduce my flutter finally.

I was already aware that my larynx bobs like a buoy in rough waters in my speaking voice and had been working on that. Since singing is an exercised extension, heightened function, or Olympic version of speach, of course it was happening in my singing voice too. Now more exploration, more, more, more, more.

Maybe I'll be happy with my own voice yet. Who knows? Does anyone know if it is even possible to be happy with one's own voice?