I plan on teaching... so you had better plan on learning.

I had THAT frustrating conversation with the parent of a potential student today about what they think is a reasonable price for a lesson and why my lesson fees are "so much higher". From time to time this topic comes up and I always cringe when it does. This is not a rant to educate these people, this is my honest opinion of how cheap and stupid I think these people are. I am worth paying for, get over it!

As a musician who has made it to the point in my life where it is possible to live off of my teaching and performing earnings, trying to explain to 'mom of the next big child star' why the lesson fee is 'so high' is easily the most irritating part of the process. I hate feeling like I have to justify why they must come to my studio and I can't come to their house, that I am in demand and I can't drop everything to give them the one specific time slot that they feel is easiest for them, why the accompanist is not free, why they must buy their own repertoire books, or any other fee that is reasonable. These things make me want to drop them before we even begin. I am certain to love teaching your kid but you, parent, are souring the lessons with your attempts to nickel and dime me out of every cent that I deserve.

I find it difficult to tell this person that they should find another teacher. I know what they will get for the price they are looking to pay and I don't want to see anyone suffer like that. I find it disrespectful to my profession. I've paid big bucks to some wonderful teachers over the years and they deserved every penny. Mostly, I find it insulting to me personally when strangers think I should be charging less. With my education and years of experience my fees are VERY reasonable. If you think my price is too high you need to look for another teacher and leave me alone. You are hiring me to help you develop a skill and discover the potential talent within, and to foster a passion for life not just a passion for right now.

In the interests of being a kind and levelheaded person, I do my best to not get irate and explain calmly to the ignorant jerk of a parent that when you sign up for lessons in my studio you are getting not just something for your child to do for a half hour to an hour a week, but someone who is passionate and serious about something that is worth being passionate and serious about. Music and art is the quality in our lives. When you ask these questions it makes me think you are not worth the effort I put into my studio. You will get every cent back you pay to me in my sweat and your results. I have spent a life time of sweat, anxiety, heart, and money into my education. Based on that, my performance experience, and my previous students history I will not teach your daughter for $10/hour.  I can't live off of that wage and it is insulting to me that you expect me to, that you think I even should. If you are looking for that kind of fee then feel free to take lessons from the hack up the street without a decent education, that will have your child frustrated and sounding horrid in very short order. Good luck getting into my studio then to fix that stuff.

I'm also NOT interested in teaching pop music to you or your child. I am so tired of justifying this to the narrow minded. If you want to be entertained once a week with some karaoke tune, then go hang out with your friends in your basement or local bar and let-er rip. You are hiring me to teach, not to entertain. The  lessons are fun and stimulating but I'm not a babysitter or a buddy, I'm your teacher. Mine is a big picture studio. Like anything that is worth doing, this takes some effort. Your effort and mine. I have already put in that effort into my own voice so I know what is to be expected of a student. I believe pop music is about bending the rules of singing to attain a certain aesthetic. I intend to teach you the proper rules and processes of singing first though. After that you can bend them to your own will for years to come. I know then that my lessons involve challenging the student on many of their preconceived notions of what they think must happen to achieve a beautiful voice. I want to foster good musicianship in you to help you find your voice, to develop your creative listening skills. I will not do this with in the idiom of popular song. You came to me to learn how to sing. That is what I intend to do. For that I deserve to be compensated accordingly. If you want me to teach pop music then expect my lesson fees to go through the roof. I need to be much better compensated for my time if I'm to be subjected to listen to that all day long.

I can't help but to add a rant about how you seem to forget that the stupid fee you pay to me is WHAT I LIVE OFF OF. It is my only source of income. It is not only the music related expenses I need to cover with your fee. I pay taxes off this fee. I buy groceries and gas for my piece of crap car that gets me to your lesson off this fee. I pay healthcare off this fee. I still have to cover the rental of the studio/building, even if you decide to flippantly cancel, off this fee. It is not just the time in your lesson that this fee covers either, but all the lesson planning, scheduling, and appropriate repertoire research for your lesson that I do when you don't see me. There is a significant amount of lesson planning and mental sweat that I spend on each student. My partner constantly complained that I spent all my time in front of the computer lesson planning instead of with him. Well, guess that means I get to listen to you complain that my fees are too high as well.

So if I go cross eyed and start twitching when you ask me to justify my rates, trust me I can justify my rates. Aaaaaand welcome to my studio.... you big jerk.

And away we go! Looking forward to this!

Here's how it has gone down so far. A good friend and I decided to do a recital in the US, where he's from. We wanted to do a summer recital, but he ended up being in Texas all summer with his doctorate degree he is doing. So then the option was for me was to go to Texas at the end of July for the performance in the firs bit of August. What was I thinking for heat stroke sake, I do not know. So far this is all great right? Performances, new locations, immersing myself in music?

Well in the meantime I decided it was a good idea to coach this repertoire with one of my good friends here in Mannheim. She's a brilliant pianist and a super sensitive collaborator. She is also very good at giving me the harsh feedback that I crave. (I sometimes wish she didn't sugar coat what she wants to say as much as she does, but that's part of the sweet appeal of her.) So we coach to prepare me to walk into the Texas recital and then I get this brilliant idea. If we are going to do all this work coaching it, why don't we do a recital too?

On track with me so far?

Planning and practicing for the recitals then are in full swing. Oh the excitement and the trepidation. The following steps have been done though: theme has been chosen, reworked, deliberated, ignored, rehashed, and written in erasable pen. The initial picking of the repertoire (and the so far 4 edits of said repertoire) has been decided, the ensuring identical copies of the pieces are in the hands of all collaborators, Texas date is set, and the Germany tentative date chosen. Still to do/find; decent recording equipment/technician, Germany location, Germany date, advertise, making and printing of the advertisement posters and programs, deciding on reception, to bouquet or not to bouquet the performance venue, and mostly learn the last few pieces before the polishing can begin. The fundraising for both recitals have begun too. Magical things like flight, advertising, travel for coachings, coaching fees, hall rental fees, piano tuning fees, and collaborator recital fee all need to be paid for somehow. Heavens forbid I should get my hopes up to raise enough to buy a proper gown for the event. Maybe I can find a friend here whom will loan me their gown? Wishful thinking there?

This administrative side of recitals is just as consuming as learning/preparing the music. I've done many recitals in my day, so I'm getting good at it. Yet, I still would be nice to know some current ideas for variety and time efficiency to make these labours of love less labourous. Well, I'm off to the studio to practice for an hour before my teaching schedule kicks in for the day. Do you remember I'm still in that other theatre show in May/June while preparing my student for their studio recital? And it's only April.

I'll keep you posted on the planning and learning of the music. Or, I'll just vent all the extra energy I have here in my blog. Snicker - extra energy!? Who's kidding who now. More like recognition of a workaholic state.

Feeling disconnected from your fellow man? Then take in some art already!!!

I know that going to vocal recitals is a dead past time in our modern age of movies, tv, and tweets. Virtually everyone will also try to rebuttal my comment with "I go to concerts!". Here though I'm talking about a classical format recital with two people on a stage sharing stories in musical form, usually in a foreign language, and without subtitles. (Sometimes translations are provided.) I'm not referring to music student population either who are still trying to find their way as well. I mean the neighbour 4 doors down with a mortgage, a car on the verge of some major repair, kids in school, and the every day pressures of time.

The "Art of the Song Recital" for the lay person is a hard evening to promote. Give them a rock scream fest and people will go in droves. Promise them an entertaining evening of Opera stories and beautiful melodies and they can't find the time. Now a days people want flash, sparkle, fireworks, and have the attention span of no longer than 3 or 4 seconds. People seem to want a BIG bang for their buck. Offering entertained with our ears instead of eyes seems to never be a big draw.

Here is my most recent realization of how I know this to be true. I was having coffee with a friend across from a sports bar the other day and couldn't help but have my own eye caught to their TV broadcast. It was some sort of rodeo, cowboy, horse training type program. I do not even know for sure what the show was all about because I couldn't hear the program, only see it. I was taken with how there wasn't a single frame that lasted longer than 3 seconds. It wasn't an advertisement or commercial spot trying to get your attention for their product either... that was the visual format of the show. I waned in my conversation for about 15 minutes with my friend because I couldn't help but study and actually count out the seconds in disbelief. Every 2-3 seconds the picture changed. I thought that a bucking horse was pretty exciting with all that big motion and potential danger of being thrown afar and on a head for the cowboy, but scene still changed every 3 seconds. This type of editing that causes the eye to dart and pulse to quicken. What chance has a classical singer in this world where a soul searching expression takes 15 seconds to 4 minutes to express? It's such a beautiful journey and there is such a small audience few and far between who can handle it now a days. A group that this person hopes grows significantly over here life time.

So then I am talking about people going to a smaller theatre, or church sanctuary on a Friday night, to hear a stranger spill their soul out on the floor for roughly 1 and 1/2 hours, in real time, with out the aid of amplification or digital assistance. Family attendance at a a concert doesn't count either, as family members think the moon hangs from their kin's breath regardless if they were Florence Foster Jenkens. (Look her up if you don't know her. She was rich, a horrible singer and therefore her fame is terribly amusing.)

What then does this expressive art form have to offer then? I believe it is exactly the kind of activity that people are looking for now a days. In a world where we seek out Meditation Guru's, Yoga masters, Zen states of transcendence, self-help seminars to find inner peace, trying to get as many friends on FaceBook as possible to feel popular, and complain about the disconnected state of modern society, to those people I would recommend taking in a voice recital. To feel connected to humanity in ways you never thought possible listen to the passions expressed in the a composers of your great, great, great grandparents time and how that message still rings true and relevant today. If you want to have a deeper understanding of why we're all here and the potential darkness and beauty of our beings then explore the musical poetry conveyed by a singer and their collaborator. If you want moment of sheer beauty that takes your breath away, allow yourself to connect to the resonant transference of the performers in a live recital. Experience life in the energy of sound that you can literally feel in your chest from your seat in the audience. The true recital attendee gets 100 fold back for their ticket price than any one who goes to hear *pop singer X sing her latest strains. (Yes, I like "X" too but I get little out of pop music.)

The Classical Music recital is entertaining, gives light to darkness, and wisdom to knowledge. In this upcoming summer program season, people of the world, seek out these recitals. Classical recitals are an art form wit an intimate passionate transference from performer to audience, where the audience is part of the energy. It is such a rewarding experience for the audience that you'll wonder after why you had not gone more often.

Showing?

Update... No musical director for me. I wanted to be in the show so I auditioned instead. Apparently I am going to be teaching the ensemble women their music and helping the music director out as needed still, but not any primary figure. Great I don't have the time in my schedule to take on a directorship right now.
I'm excited about this musical though. I haven't done one for about 8 years. Such a long time ago. My voice doesn't sound very Musical Theatre now, too operatic, but it shouldn't stick out too much with the ensemble singing I'll have to do. The thing I am anticipating most about is not the music but the potential amount of dancing I'll get to do. As I've seen by youtube video's, I could potentially be doing lots of dancing. I have high hopes for our director, who is also a seasoned choreographer, with what he's shared for his vision of the show so far. How exciting.

It's just pickles... wow

Last Wednesday I was at bowling with some friends. I was eating one of the alley's delicious burgers because they are delicious and I needed dinner. I took the pickles off and put them on the side of the plate. Some guy noticed me take the pickles off and he asked why, so I told him.
I LOVED my grandma's pickles growing up. She made them from the cucumbers that grew in her back yard. They were so good that all other pickles I've tried just don't compare to hers. So instead of being constantly disappointed in something that I considered trivial I just don't bother to eat pickles anymore. He then called me a difficult and high maintenance woman.
I didn't realize having a pickle preference made me difficult and high maintenance. I wasn't whining or complaining about it, I just simply put them to the side of my burger while I was putting on mustard and mayo. I even offered them to him, and he ate them while I told him why I don't bother with pickles anymore.
It's just pickles... wow.

More than a case of the Mondays

I have no illusions about my dreams. I know I'll never see them fulfilled, but that doesn't mean I won't have them or try to attain them. I owe myself at least my best try.
It is just so entirely disappointing when I have done all I can do and my easiest goal should be attainable. Yet, by the sheer incompetence and ineptitude of people around me, it all catastrophically falls apart. That is when I learn that what I thought was my line, can and is crossed, I keep going.
I believe that people are the greatest resource one can have. In those unfortunate times when I have no choice in the people around me and have to work with whom I am given, deep breath, having patience with myself and my goals is the best thing I can do to keep myself still sane and moving forward.
I know my goals are lofty. That does not make them bad or unreasonable. I owe it to myself to not settle for mediocre. Some day I hope to see it all come to fruition. In the meantime, I have purpose.
Now, for a big cup of coffee.

Surprise!

In a couple of months from now there will be auditions for a musical based on a movie that I just LOVE. I had researched some of the music earlier this week and had full intentions of auditioning for it. Well, today I received an email asking me if I was interested in being the music director!
Huh! Think I'll say yes? Are you kidding me?! I would LOVE to! I really enjoyed being musical director in the past, and this is a show I care even more about.
I have not signed any agreements yet or even talked details but to be asked if I was interested is extremely great. Of course I said I was interested, and would love to open a dialogue about it.
EEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Excited much?